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Sensate Focus

18
Oct
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c@trion@

Available courses
  • For Her: 3 Ways To Empower Yourself In Your Sexuality

  • Sensate Focus

  • Sexual Desire Difficulties

  • Sex Therapy 101: An introduction to treatment

Exciting projects and days spent talking to wonder Exciting projects and days spent talking to wonderful colleagues about s€x

#filming #film #series #podcast #work #colleagues #friends
When I ask clients the question “where does your When I ask clients the question “where does your belief that s€x must always be spontaneous come from?”, most people struggle to answer!

The reality is that what we’ve seen in movies/ porn, heard from other people/ partners, and what we think should (ugh, this word) be happening is that our desire for s€x is out of the blue, spontaneous, or as @enagoski puts it, “a lightening bolt to our genitals”!

 The reality is that we lead VERY busy lives. And we need to be organised and plan our lives - from work to kids schedules to social events and so on. Planning means these things happen. Not always fun, but they are intentionally taking place. Why can’t s€x be the same?

There is a belief that if we schedule it, it will take away from it. It’s the opposite for busy partners - it actually means it’s more likely to happen and be enjoyable!

#planning #plantobespontaneous #intentional #intentionality #couple #partners #beliefs #unhelpful #fun #calendar
Whether it’s your partner, your best friend, you Whether it’s your partner, your best friend, your sibling or cousin, most therapists will not see two people individually who have a close relationship. Of course sometimes a therapist will ask the client to invite someone into their therapy space for specific therapeutic purpose, but for on-going/ long-term therapy, I’m my opinion, it’s not ethical.

So why is this?

1. Your therapist needs to remain neutral and objective. This is very hard if they are also trying to do this for someone you are talking about constantly in therapy.
2. Part of ethical practice is maintain strict confidentiality. Again, it’s very difficult for a therapist to do this if lines are blurred due to close relationships between clients.
3. Being impartial is paramount for your therapeutic journey. While therapists have opinions and can offer advice, your therapy journey and your choices should never be influenced by their knowledge of someone close to you etc.
4. When I go to therapy, I want to feel like my therapist has my back! That she’s in my corner… Seeing the same therapist means you may constantly be questioning who’s side they are on.
5. Therapy is a journey, and one that should provide an unbiased & safe space for you to travel through. If you don’t like/ trust your therapist, you’re never going to get the most out of it. And this is especially true when you are worried about what they are saying to someone you know.

Of course there are always exceptions, and this is the way I choose to practice… When I see an individual and we have established therapeutic rapport, I do not see the partner or the couple (unless therapeutically necessary for my client).

#couple #coupletherapy #therapy #relationship #relationshiptherapy #partner #friend #sibling #trust #safe #neutral
Sex in our relationships isn’t as simple as it s Sex in our relationships isn’t as simple as it seems. It actually requires us to make consistent effort to keeping things enjoyable (and this has nothing to do with frequency or orgasm)…

People report more satisfying sex when they:
1) talk about sex more: the more we openly discuss our experience of sex with our partner, the less of an elephant in the room it is. Being able to share vulnerably and honestly (but sensitively) with the person we choose to have sex with really can lead to higher levels of satisfaction.

2) knowing what you like: probably one of the harder questions my clients have to answer, because we are often so focused on pleasing someone else that we lose sight of what brings us pleasure or give ourselves an opportunity to explore our pleasure more. Learning what you like on your own definitely helps you gain more pleasure with a partner, but you need to also be more open to trying things that interest you to expand your pleasure repertoire during partnered sex. Be curios!

3) being intentional with sex otherwise it won’t just happen: sorry to break it you, but sex doesn’t just happen (or I wouldn’t be in business). It requires us to plan, schedule, build up to and be intentional about it… otherwise we will probably keep missing each other on the moments we feel like it!

#toptips #tips #learning #education #couple #sexualhealth #whatyoucando #ownit #pleasure
Last week, the @nytimes put up an article on coupl Last week, the @nytimes put up an article on couples sleeping in separate bedrooms, and asked if there could actually be some benefit to this dynamic?

Speaking from personal experience, I’ve often slept better when my partner is away and joked we should sleep in separate bedrooms a few nights a week (much to his horror).

It got me wondering… is sleeping in separate bedrooms still thought of as a marriage beyond repair? Or can we reframe how we see this behaviour as not an indication of relationship turmoil and avoidance, but possibly an act of prioritising personal space, alone time, better quality sleep and more intentional physical & sexual intimacy?

I think that ultimately it comes down to your intentions behind separate sleeping spaces, as well as mutually agreed upon engagement in this set up. When I’ve had couples share with me that they do this, I always want to know why - to ascertain if it’s an indication of a deeper problem or healthy and helpful relationship strategies.

I think that if couples chose to sleep separately, they probably have to be more intentional about physical and sexual intimacy. Think of this: most couples who sleep in the same bed rarely kiss each other on a daily basis!

Lots of food for thought… what do you think? • #sleeping #sleepingseparately #couples #habits #behaviour #behavior #intimacy #intentionality #foodforthought #bed #sleepingindifferentbeds #tradition #ideas #statusquo #shakingupthenorm
Quick! My wonderful, comprehensive course on @myma Quick! My wonderful, comprehensive course on @mymasterytv is on special for Valentine’s Day.

Brain and body should head in the same direction for a satisfying experience in the bedroom. 

Take this exclusive masterclass and make a mind shift in under 4 hours with sexologist Catriona Boffard. Click link in bio.

#MyMastery #Intimacy #SexEducation #Affection #SexTalk #PleasurePrinciples
As the saying goes, “learning how to have s€x As the saying goes, “learning how to have s€x from porn is like learning how to drive from watching Nascar.”

Everyone is different when it comes to their experience of s€x, but doing it like the porn stars because that’s what you think will work is very likely going to be a bang-average experience all round.

In my @mymasterytv class, I teach you everything you should have been taught about sex to ensure that you don’t just act like a porn star, but actually have the type of s€x you deserve.

And what’s more exciting is that you can currently buy one class and get another free! Talk about winning at life! • #mymastery #class #education #learning #blackfriday #deal #blackfridaydeal #specialoffer #limitedoffer #sexeducation #couple #intimacy #single
Here’s 3 quick tips for you on how to introduce Here’s 3 quick tips for you on how to introduce s€c toys to your s€x life…

1. Start with something small (not the biggest dildo you can find)
2. Try it on your own first
3. Talk to your partner about what you want to try, and use a context to bring up the conversation if you’re feeling anxious about it

@desir_official
@lelo_official
@tengauk
@tenga_global

#toys #play #advice #toptips #tryitout #context #fun
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