Some women love it, some women hate it, but ultimately receiving oral sex during foreplay or instead of sex can really get things hot and sexy in between the sheets. Going down on her can help her become more aroused before sex or it’s also one way that women report can help them reach orgasm – often much more easily than from sexual intercourse! What’s important to remember is that everyone is different – so don’t assume your new partner likes something just because your ex did, or that they will like the same thing every time! So here are some tips for some seriously hot oral sex for her:


  • Oral sex is not just about her vagina (just like any other form of sexual intimacy). So kiss her lower stomach, her inner thighs, touch her breasts or hold her hand. It’s really important to make each experience sensual and not just sexual, and the physical intimacy can mean much more pleasure for her sexually.
  • Both men and women want to know that their partner is enjoying the experience; so a few soft moans and some eye contact (if she is willing to look at you) can go a long way! Showing your enthusiasm can make her feel even more wanted by you.
  • Don’t rush things! Try to turn her on a little before you get to oral sex, by kissing, holding and touching her. A lot of women do not like to be kissed once their partner has been down town, so don’t rush the process and get some kissing in before you head south. A bit of teasing really helps get her in the mood.
  • The clitoris, which houses 8000 nerve endings, is the part of the body that needs the most attention during oral sex. However, because it’s so nerve-filled it’s also extremely sensitive! Always start slowly and gently to gauge what she likes.
  • A woman will generally indicate that she likes something or not by her body language, noises or verbalizing it. It’s not too hard to pick up if you’re doing something good – she might moan, say ‘yes’ or even move her body in to you or towards you. Follow these signals!
  • And on that note, if she indicates she likes something… DO NOT STOP! Rhythm is a key part of helping her achieve orgasm and sexual pleasure. It can be really frustrating for a woman if her partner is doing something that feels good and then changes! By all means, if your tongue, mouth or fingers are sore then break for only a moment, but if there’s merely some discomfort, putting up with it is usually worth the outcome…
  • When using your tongue on her clitoris, a soft, flat tongue is key! Because it’s so sensitive, nothing is worse than a sharp, hard tongue. Think of it like licking an ice cream! As mentioned, every girl is different so try out different paces, movements and pressures to see what works best for her. Need to learn a little about the female anatomy? Read my post here.
  • Don’t suck (too much) because the nerve endings in the clitoris cannot really handle too much stimulation like this. And definitely no slurping or sucking noises! I’d be interested to know if there are any women who think that this is even remotely sexy?
  • Use your hands – both on her body and to stimulate her internally (her ‘g-spot’). Get in to a position that is comfortable for your hands if you are also going to manually stimulate her, which can be extremely pleasurable for a woman. Your palm should be facing up and move your fingers in a “come here” motion softly once inside of her. Experiment with 1 or 2 fingers, depending on what she likes. Remember to not just focus on penetration with your fingers but use them to touch her body and vagina as well.
  • To make you both more comfortable, you can place a pillow underneath her pelvis, which will help you hit her hot spots better too, and will tilt her pelvis up and lead to better stimulation for her.
  • Don’t assume that just because she’s wet that she’s as excited as you are, because sexual arousal for women is both a physical and a mental experience. That’s why a little kissing and touching before can go a long way, and complimenting her on how sexy or beautiful she is, even further!
  • Want to mix it up a little? Why not try lying perpendicular to her (like an L shape). You can put one arm under her leg and stimulate her comfortably with both your hand and mouth.
  • Don’t pressure her! Pressure and sex are the WORST possible combination (for both men and women), because as soon as there is pressure, there is expectation! If she’s enjoying it but isn’t going to climax, that’s ok. You can be intimate in other ways after it! Don’t feel guilty for not climaxing as a woman either, as there are so many factors that contribute to a woman reaching orgasm.
  • On that note ladies, during oral sex try to engage on other levels that turn you on, whether that’s fantasy, engaging your pelvic floor muscles, or touching your own body while your partner is at work.

There are a lot of women who are grossed out by the idea of oral sex, and unfortunately this isn’t going to change over night… it takes time. Many women think that they ‘smell’, ‘look gross’ or that you ‘don’t want to do it’. It’s very much the opposite in most instances and it’s very rare that any of these are even true. Reassuring her that it is not anything she might be thinking and not placing too much pressure on her can help ease her mind about it. Never force it on her without her consent, and if she doesn’t like it, well then there are plenty other wonderful ways to pleasure each other in bed!

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