Female ejaculation is one topic of sex that is continuously misunderstood, yet both men and women ask me about it all the time – What is it? How does it happen? Can all women do it? I realised that there was a need to write a post about this because the myths around female ejaculation need to be cleared up, and perhaps there are those out there wanting to understand it better or hope that they are able to do it. This is a part of the sexual experience that could be confusing or embarrassing, or exciting and pleasurable. In order to clear the negative air around it, it’s important to understand the facts about it… and just how this should be seen as a sexy and natural female response to sexual stimulation.
What is female ejaculation?
The most common myth that is repeatedly perpetuated is that female ejaculation is urine. This is untrue. However, it is understandable that there is such a myth because female ejaculate does in fact come out of the urethra (where urine comes from). Think about it – when men ejaculate, sperm comes out of their urethra, yet they never release urine. This is because our bodies have a clever mechanism that shuts off our bladders so that we can ejaculate. Hence it should be the same in women. Numerous research studies have examined female anatomy in order to uncover exactly what’s going on when this happens.
Female ejaculation is often associated with G-Spot stimulation (the rough spot on the front, upper wall of her vagina) and strong vaginal muscular contractions (it’s said women with stronger Kegel muscles are more likely to ‘squirt further’) (Read about Kegel muscles here… http://betweenthesheetssa.com/2013/04/18/kegel/). Some researchers suggest that it comes from Skene’s glands (which are the female equivalent to the male prostate) as when tested, the ejaculate contains prostatic fluid. The fluid produced is either clear or murky, and the amount varies each time, and between each woman. Some women will ejaculate small amounts, or gently, and some women will literally ‘squirt’, with the record being 2m (in case you were wondering).
Common slang terms for female ejaculation include:
- Wet orgasm
What’s the big deal anyway?
There seems to be a lot of hype around female ejaculation. Some partners get even more aroused when the woman they’re with can ejaculate, and women who can, report that their orgasms are often more pleasurable when they do. A woman may find that a new partner asks if she can because a previous partner of theirs could, so it’s important to remember that every woman is different in every way, and you should never feel pressured by what your partner has previously experienced. Do not pressure your partner into doing it as pressuring them will only have a negative effect; and ladies, don’t be hard on yourselves and have high expectations that you should be able to do it. Go with what feels right for you rather than what is expected or assumed.
Can all women ejaculate?
In one simple word, no – not all women can ejaculate. Some women can naturally (and may do so once or several times during sex), others can learn how to do it, yet most women simply can’t or are apprehensive in experimenting if they can. Why can’t some women ejaculate? Well again, this is a contested question – some research says we all do but it may be such a small amount it goes unnoticed; others say female anatomy is different in every women. Being able to ejaculate is not superior to women who cannot, and that’s important to remember, especially if your partner suggests it is.
Most women don’t ejaculate, but some women who can, feel embarrassed about their ability to ejaculate. Other women may seek medical assistance, and may be given further negative or incorrect information, which could increase the shame and embarrassment. The first step to finding pleasure in this experience, like most sexual behaviour, is permission. Being able to enjoy yourself means being able to ‘go with the flow’, so to speak. Being anxious or nervous will detract from your pleasure, and may even have a negative impact on your ability to enjoy sex.
Learn about how to try ejaculation later in the week… Part Two coming soon