I realised today that I have not spent much time on my blog recently. Sadly it has had to take a back seat to work and life. This, however, is going to change and I will be back to posting once a week about weird and wonderful sexual topics from today. So, to get back into it lets debunk some sexual myths…
Last month of Yfm’s PG Hour we discussed several sexual myths. I was surprised at how many people’s sexual knowledge is driven by cultural, societal or relational ideas. Unfortunately a lot of these idea are indeed ‘myths’ and any people are incorrectly informed about particular sexual topics. Here are some that we discussed and if they were busted:
- Size matters – busted and confirmed
This is a difficult myth to truly bust. Although size doesn’t actually matter – it’s what he does with it that counts – a lot of men and women say that they prefer bigger to smaller. Psychologically bigger is preferred, but in terms of actual physiological difference, there isn’t much. If you are concerned that you are too big or too small, the Kama Sutra actually suggests positions for maximum pleasure depending on your appendage.
- You can’t fall pregnant on your period – busted
Sadly you can fall pregnant, much against popular belief. It all depends on a woman’s cycle. Sperm can live in the vagina for up to 7 days after sex, and if a woman has a very short cycle and ovulates (releases eggs) soon after her period, she can in fact fall pregnant. Although this is rare, it does happen. Remember to always use contraception, in order to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Use condoms if you do not know each other’s STD/ HIV status!
- Contraceptives inhibit a man’s sexual functioning – busted
This one was new for me but seems to be widely believed. If a woman is being responsible for her own sexual health by using contraceptives to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, it will in no way have any effect on a man’s sexual functioning and performance. No hormones she has in her body will effect what goes on in his. Furthermore, if a man is sleeping with more than one woman, he will not stop another woman getting pregnant if his one partner is using contraceptives. Contraceptives are only effective to the person using them – be responsible for your own sexual health.
- Withdrawal method is safe and you won get pregnant – busted
Unfortunately a lot of people believe that this is true, and although not always the case, you can indeed fall pregnant even when he withdraws before ejaculation. This is because all men produce what is commonly called ‘pre-cum’, and this contains seminal fluid, which can lead to an unwanted pregnancy. Make sure she is using contraceptives or he is wearing a condom before you penetrated and have sex.
- Men are more sexual than women – busted
This is a societal misconception. Women are as sexual as men, but it is not considered as appropriate by society (especially South African society which is quite conservative), so it is often considered true. Women are entitled to want, enjoy and love sex as much as men, and many women do – they just don’t tell anyone that they do. Sure, women usually need double the amount of sexual stimulation than men, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t want it or enjoy it.
- Sex is not important for older people – busted
Sex is important at any age, and as adults our age should not dictate whether or not we are having sex. When we grow older, things often become more gentle and slow, and sex is no exception. In our later years, sex is less about wild positions and experimenting and more about intimacy and bonding. When we are older we have also come to terms with our bodies, so sex is often easier and less anxiety-provoking than when we are younger. The saying “use it or lose it” is very true when it comes to sex, so keep it up (so to speak) for as long as you can.
- Oral sex is the safest method of sexual activity – busted
Sadly not, and there is a great misconception that its much safer to have oral sex than it is to have penetrative sex before you know each other’s status. Sexually transmitted infections can be transmitted orally from mouth to mouth, or from mouth to genitals (vagina, penis or anus). If you are starting a new sexual relationship, make sure you get tested for all STDs together and know each other’s status before going down town. Not only will it create trust between you but it will also bring you both peace of mind and more sexual freedom.
Listen to the clip of July’s PG Hour here… (thanks to Rob Boffard for putting this together for me)